i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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