Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
