if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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