So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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