Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
