I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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