Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
