Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
