i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
