ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
