a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
