Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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