everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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