Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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