Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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