But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
