She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
