I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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