I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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