Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
