how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
