Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
