Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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