so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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