He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize