she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
