So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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