I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
