you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
