actually, I'm a sock model
im drinking this country out of the recession.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just want to make out with him forever
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
