I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She told me I should be a condom model.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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