Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
