Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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