I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
