Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
