Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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