You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
