i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
