My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
