She is in my trunk
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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