i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
