how can u be prego again
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
