Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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