Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
