You're completely useless in the revolution.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
