just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
