Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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