Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
