awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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