Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
