is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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