I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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