oh god the rape fog is back!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
