You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
