dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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