i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
