I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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