I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
