She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Randomize
