the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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