i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
