His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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